Posts Tagged 'Self-Love'

Driving through the Iowa countryside last fall, I experienced a moment of awakening around the subject of self-concept.  I had been thinking about how self-concept limits us, how many of my clients work so hard to release and come to terms with the false self-concepts they adopted in childhood (all of which boil down to believing you are unworthy). On this day, I wasn’t thinking directly on the subject of self-concept; I was simply enjoying my drive, staring at the fall asters along the highway, noticing the beauty of pink, yellow and purple mixed together, when suddenly, I literally saw something I had not been able to see for three years–
 
Why was this astounding?  For three years, since I arrived in Iowa, I have held the belief that there are no hills in Iowa.  I’ve spent most of my life living in the mountains—the Allegheny Mountains of West Virginia, the Berkshire Hills in western Massachusetts.  At my first party in Iowa, people were talking about how wonderful it was to drive into Iowa and see the hills.  I laughed, “There are no hills here!”  I felt so certain.  I knew for sure that there are no hills here.  I even took time to tell my friends back in Massachusetts how funny it was that people here talked about the hills.  I had a concept for sure.  Not a self-concept, but a concept about the landscape in Iowa.
 
On this day, as I enjoyed the beauty of the flowers while listening to an inspirational CD, in a split-second I saw the hills!  I had driven on this stretch of highway many times without seeing any hills at all.  Now, there they were!  I screamed aloud to myself.  “I see the hills!”
 
Not only did I see them, I felt a shift take place in my perception.  I felt a belief drop away, a concept that I had ‘known for certain’ was suddenly gone.  The hills appeared.
 
I was reminded in that moment of the scene in What the Bleep Do We Know where the shaman looks out at the ocean but does not see the large ships approaching because he doesn’t ‘know’ what ships are. The ships are literally invisible to him because his mind does not have a concept for ships.  He sees the waves, however, so as he keeps staring, eventually the ships appear to him.  Before they appear, however, he must find a way to realize within his consciousness that ships are a possibility.  (Contemplating the waves does this for him.)
 
Because I held a concept of what hills look like (my visual cortex had known hills to be only a certain size) I literally could not see the hills in Iowa (until I did!)  As the quantum physicists and the mystics alike teach us:  We see what we believe is possible.
 
Going back to the topic of self-concept.  When we are ‘told’ in childhood that something about us is not quite right:  i.e. too sensitive; too fat; not smart enough; not pretty enough; or when an abusive experience happens that creates the belief that we are unlovable and unworthy, then, this self-concept, which is composed of false beliefs about yourself, is fixed within you and you literally cannot see yourself in any other way.  Have you ever known a person who could not receive a compliment?  (Perhaps it's you!)  That is because they hold onto a  self-concept opposing the compliment.  It quite literally cannot be received.
 
How do you know you are trapped in a self-concept that is not who you really are?  Where in you’re life is your self-concept limiting your enjoyment, vitality, creativity?  I’ll discuss this in Part 2 of Self-Concept & Self-Love.  In the mean time, contemplate your answer, and if you haven’t yet watched What the Bleep Do We Know I highly recommend it as an educational tool.
 
Have a great day!
Nancy

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On my daily walk, I stop at a bridge to look down at a beautiful stream.  Before I stop to look down, I pick a twig with flowers or leaves.  Then, I drop it over to watch as it flows downstream.  This bridge is about 50 feet high over the stream, which is about 30 feet wide, with woods on either side.  It’s in a park so very quiet and undisturbed.

A very long time ago I realized that whatever I need to know I could learn from nature.  As my twig falls into the water, the current sweeps it up.  There are rocks that it moves around.  At times, it gets pushed under the water. Sometimes, it gets stuck on the side of a large rock, until the water dislodges it.  Finally, after the rocky white water section, the twig rests in the large still eddy, where the water is calm.

Yes, this is all a metaphor, which is how we can learn from nature.  In this instance, the water is the flow of our Spirit, or Divine Essence.  Our spirit is always expanding or flowing.  We either allow this to happen or resist the flow.  When we get stuck on a rock—-a false self concept—then we get out of the flow, stop moving, stay focused on the fear or pain or whatever it is that we are believing at the time.

Being in alignment means that our mind, body and spirit are lined up, that what our spirit desires our thoughts support.  And we keep our body open and healthy to support our Spirit.

My question is, do you need a nudge?  Have you been stuck on a rock lately?  It’s only normal to be there.  It’s part of the journey downstream.  We will encounter the rocks.  But our responsibility as conscious creators of our life is to look to see why we are stuck, what we are believing that’s keeping us stuck, and what the learning is that will release us so that we can move downstream again.

1. Blame
2. Demeaning internal dialogue
3. Loneliness and isolation
4. Numbing out to your Soul’s purpose with food or television
5. Unforgiveness

If you feel stuck in your life in any way and feel that now is the time to consciously empower yourself to get unstuck, give me a call 641-233-5072. This is what I do as a transformation catalyst~I support you to create a breakthrough transformation so that you experience your unlimited possibilities again and fully connected to your Soul.
I also hope you are enjoying this amazing spring season.

Love & light,

Nancy
http://www.choosingselflove.com/sessions-self-love.htm

copyright 2010

A bright, sunny morning a few weeks ago, I had just finished shoveling the newly fallen snow from my driveway.  The temperature was cold, probably 10 below.  I felt good.  My job was complete; my body strong.  I went inside to get Horton, my dog, for our trip to the hardware store for birdseed and flowers.  When I came out, I noticed that the city plow had pushed a huge line of hard ice-filled snow a foot deep across the edge of my driveway.  In a matter of seconds, I found myself throwing up my arms, fully embodying a ‘why me’ energy.

The plow had parked down the street.  I was mad.  I must have thrown up my arms five times, hoping he’d see me.  But as I worked to remove the icy snow, part of me was watching myself, acting like a fool.  As I shoveled, suddenly my Higher Self popped in, (thank goodness) speaking my soul words to me.  You’d better shift this anger unless you want the Universe to bring you more things to be angry about today. I laughed!  Of course.  That is how it works.  Okay.  Will do.

So I did.  I began to breathe consciously, feeling gratitude for the air filled with negative ions from the snow!  I consciously looked for beauty, and saw the sun glistening on the snowy dried echinacea pods.  I shifted.  I even felt grateful for the plow guy!

Minutes later I stood listening to the flower lady at the hardware store share an inspirational moment from her life with me.  I, in turn, reflected back to her her courage. I’m absolutely certain this connection would not have happened had I not shifted my energy from anger to self-love while shoveling.  The universe gives us back a match to what we are putting out.

When you are cut off from the Love flowing to and through you, that is when you project your own inner drama (in my case this was that ‘why me’ voice) onto others and the world, which is why understanding and practicing what self-love is is essential to creating everything else you want in life.

Self-love: absolutely the most important kind of love to develop.  But even saying ‘kind of love’ implies separation, when the reality is that there is no separation other than the feeling of being separate that we create when we temporarily block the flow with our beliefs.   Love is the fabric of the Universe.  It is the energy of creation.

We all block the flow from time to time.  Part of our humanity.

But once you gain mastery with shifting your energy, with letting go of the false beliefs and story of your past, it becomes easier and easier to be in the flow of Love, to allow it to shape your world through words, actions, art, money, and whatever your Divine Purpose calls forth from within you to create.

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To find out more about Nancy’s Self-Love Coaching offerings go to http://choosingselflove.com

copyright 2009 Nancy Swisher

One morning my dog Horton and I were on our morning drive to the Iowa City dog park.  It’s a short drive (less than 7 minutes) and a wonderful way to begin my day.   I take my small tape recorder with me to record inspiration and guidance about my book or other projects.   I felt great joy driving on this beautiful morning, with Horton to my right, blue sky, birds everywhere.

We turned the corner from our block and right in front of me was a beautiful patch of Bee Balm, one of my favorite flowers.  Bee Balm is in the mint family (thus it has a square stem) and grows to about 4 or 5 feet.   Hummingbirds love it.  This particular patch was a deep magenta.

When I saw the bee balm, in an instant, I thought of another patch of bee balm, the bee balm that I planted at my house in Massachusetts, the house I sold before moving to Iowa City.  In another instant, a feeling of sadness arose.  Why sadness?  Because my conditioned mind has been programmed to think thoughts that cause sadness, to focus on loss as reality.  (I’ve explored all of the reasons for the conditioning, actually spent the greater part of a decade ‘looking there.’)

The speed at which this happened truly amazed me.  I went from joy to sadness literally in seconds.

This is how the conditioned mind works.  In a moment, something in our environment can trigger an old way of thinking and perceiving oneself or life, and KA-BOOM (a technical term), off we go down the slippery slope into a low vibrational feeling, into a story so familiar we don’t realize it’s a story.

This time, however, very quickly, I brought myself back to the bee balm in Iowa, twenty feet away from me.  This was my point of power.  This was my present moment.  I saw what was happening.  I made a choice not to go into the past and into the story.  You see, we lose the present moment when we look back.  The spiritual connection to All That Is and our Essence is eclipsed by the mind when the mind dominates, which mine tried to do on this day.  Because of practice, I was able to shift it within seconds.  It wasn’t always that way.

I love teaching my Choosing Self-Love Mentoring Program because in the first module you learn to many tools for shifting into the present moment.  Nothing is more important, really.  And, I want to emphasize that this does not mean that you ignore the difficult feelings.  When there is wisdom in them, you explore them and learn.   When there are thoughts and stories and ‘children’ who need love, you bring in love.  But when they are simply repetitive patterns long ago processed, you pivot in another direction, toward your happiness.  You choose.  You select your thoughts, the ones that take you in the direction of your desire.

I love putting these two words together because I don’t think they are often associated.  In reality, you can’t have one without the other.

What is self-love? The foundation of self-love is the realization that you are love.  You live a life of self-love when you identify with your spirit, with the non-physical Being that you are.  When you really know that you are a spiritual being having a human experience, you become committed to mastering the tools of self-love that help to release your conditioned mind, all those beliefs and feelings that block your experience of the love that you are.

What is success?  I prefer to use Deepak Chopra’s definition.  It’s a good one: “The continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

There are no right goals or wrong goals.  Worthy goals are those that bubble up from within you that bring you a sense of joy when you imagine them.

If you do not give yourself the time and space to go inside, to touch the Being that you are, to feel your unique energetic vibration and frequency—if you are always on the go and seeking the next accomplishment while ignoring your Being, your success will not bring you happiness.

Soul-aligned success can only be accomplished by learning to love you. The worthy goals are those that outform your heart’s desire, your soul’s-purpose.

You can work hard and make lots of money and have all the things that make the world label you as a success.  And there is nothing wrong with wonderful things.  But the new paradigm of success that is being birthed in the world now—success that comes from soul-alignment—cannot come to fruition without the practice of self-love.

How does one practice self-love?  That is a much bigger question than I can answer here, but the most important starting place and the #1 practice is this: Stillness.

If you want to learn to master 15 self-love practices check out my 9 week Choosing Self-Love Tele-class Intensive at http://tinyurl.com/mlu8r5

www.choosingselflove.com