A bright, sunny morning a few weeks ago, I had just finished shoveling the newly fallen snow from my driveway.  The temperature was cold, probably 10 below.  I felt good.  My job was complete; my body strong.  I went inside to get Horton, my dog, for our trip to the hardware store for birdseed and flowers.  When I came out, I noticed that the city plow had pushed a huge line of hard ice-filled snow a foot deep across the edge of my driveway.  In a matter of seconds, I found myself throwing up my arms, fully embodying a ‘why me’ energy.

The plow had parked down the street.  I was mad.  I must have thrown up my arms five times, hoping he’d see me.  But as I worked to remove the icy snow, part of me was watching myself, acting like a fool.  As I shoveled, suddenly my Higher Self popped in, (thank goodness) speaking my soul words to me.  You’d better shift this anger unless you want the Universe to bring you more things to be angry about today. I laughed!  Of course.  That is how it works.  Okay.  Will do.

So I did.  I began to breathe consciously, feeling gratitude for the air filled with negative ions from the snow!  I consciously looked for beauty, and saw the sun glistening on the snowy dried echinacea pods.  I shifted.  I even felt grateful for the plow guy!

Minutes later I stood listening to the flower lady at the hardware store share an inspirational moment from her life with me.  I, in turn, reflected back to her her courage. I’m absolutely certain this connection would not have happened had I not shifted my energy from anger to self-love while shoveling.  The universe gives us back a match to what we are putting out.

When you are cut off from the Love flowing to and through you, that is when you project your own inner drama (in my case this was that ‘why me’ voice) onto others and the world, which is why understanding and practicing what self-love is is essential to creating everything else you want in life.

Self-love: absolutely the most important kind of love to develop.  But even saying ‘kind of love’ implies separation, when the reality is that there is no separation other than the feeling of being separate that we create when we temporarily block the flow with our beliefs.   Love is the fabric of the Universe.  It is the energy of creation.

We all block the flow from time to time.  Part of our humanity.

But once you gain mastery with shifting your energy, with letting go of the false beliefs and story of your past, it becomes easier and easier to be in the flow of Love, to allow it to shape your world through words, actions, art, money, and whatever your Divine Purpose calls forth from within you to create.

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To find out more about Nancy’s Self-Love Coaching offerings go to http://choosingselflove.com

copyright 2009 Nancy Swisher

It is a common for humans to focus on what we do not yet have but want.  It is also a common thing not to be grateful for what we do have when we know that we desire something other than what we have.  Learning to feel gratitude, no matter what the circumstance or issue in your life, is a wonderful undertaking.  Why?  Gratitude feels lovely; gratitude signals the flow of divine energy through your Being.  And most importantly, gratitude is our natural state when we are fully present.

“But how do I feel grateful when I want so many things to be different than they are?”

Well, the answer is by wanting to focus on gratitude, by choosing to be grateful.  Everything is always a choice when it comes to our focus.

Being grateful, however, is not about pretending to be grateful.  It’s not about just saying the words.  It is not a mental exercise.  You must feel it.   And you can feel it even when circumstances may seem grim.  To quote Eric Butterworth’s Spiritual Economics, “This is precisely the time to stir up the gift of gratitude!  Remember, it is not a reactionary emotion but a causative one.”  In other words, by being grateful, you cause or draw to you more experiences to feel grateful about!

Gratitude and appreciation are powerful, high frequency emotions. You don’t have to look outside to your environment for things to be grateful for in order to feel and experience gratitude.  You can choose to be grateful, to feel grateful, to experience gratitude.  In other words, gratitude is not a response to something external, but a state of Being that you bring to the world.

When you do this, amazing things happen in your life!

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If you want to explore how to access the power of gratitude to reveal your
Soul’s Purpose,  please contact me at nancy@choosingselflove.com

copyright 2009 Nancy Swisher http://choosingselflove.com

One morning my dog Horton and I were on our morning drive to the Iowa City dog park.  It’s a short drive (less than 7 minutes) and a wonderful way to begin my day.   I take my small tape recorder with me to record inspiration and guidance about my book or other projects.   I felt great joy driving on this beautiful morning, with Horton to my right, blue sky, birds everywhere.

We turned the corner from our block and right in front of me was a beautiful patch of Bee Balm, one of my favorite flowers.  Bee Balm is in the mint family (thus it has a square stem) and grows to about 4 or 5 feet.   Hummingbirds love it.  This particular patch was a deep magenta.

When I saw the bee balm, in an instant, I thought of another patch of bee balm, the bee balm that I planted at my house in Massachusetts, the house I sold before moving to Iowa City.  In another instant, a feeling of sadness arose.  Why sadness?  Because my conditioned mind has been programmed to think thoughts that cause sadness, to focus on loss as reality.  (I’ve explored all of the reasons for the conditioning, actually spent the greater part of a decade ‘looking there.’)

The speed at which this happened truly amazed me.  I went from joy to sadness literally in seconds.

This is how the conditioned mind works.  In a moment, something in our environment can trigger an old way of thinking and perceiving oneself or life, and KA-BOOM (a technical term), off we go down the slippery slope into a low vibrational feeling, into a story so familiar we don’t realize it’s a story.

This time, however, very quickly, I brought myself back to the bee balm in Iowa, twenty feet away from me.  This was my point of power.  This was my present moment.  I saw what was happening.  I made a choice not to go into the past and into the story.  You see, we lose the present moment when we look back.  The spiritual connection to All That Is and our Essence is eclipsed by the mind when the mind dominates, which mine tried to do on this day.  Because of practice, I was able to shift it within seconds.  It wasn’t always that way.

I love teaching my Choosing Self-Love Mentoring Program because in the first module you learn to many tools for shifting into the present moment.  Nothing is more important, really.  And, I want to emphasize that this does not mean that you ignore the difficult feelings.  When there is wisdom in them, you explore them and learn.   When there are thoughts and stories and ‘children’ who need love, you bring in love.  But when they are simply repetitive patterns long ago processed, you pivot in another direction, toward your happiness.  You choose.  You select your thoughts, the ones that take you in the direction of your desire.

Every subject has two subjects, that which is wanted and the lack of it. ~Abraham-Hicks

The broad-brush stroke of my business is that I inspire people to let go of their conditioned mind or resistance (in all it’s various forms) in order to align with their Spirit and Soul’s purpose. Such an alignment naturally creates happiness and joy.  One of the keys to alignment is to let go of the need for other’s approval.  Since I possess a level of mastery over the external approval-thing, you would think that as I write my ‘business book’, I would not worry about genre, or structure, or following someone else’s rules about what such a book should be.

I wish.

Occasionally, I slip into worry about such things as whether I can allow the poet in me to come through and still write a book about my business.  Then there’s the voice that says, You must have clear steps for people to follow! which, of course, doesn’t sit well with the poet in me either.  The ‘darkest’ voice of all is the one that says, You can’t be an expert and also reveal your personal journey (like I’m doing here!).

Thoughts such as these block the flow of writing.  They are not aligned with my Source or with the book.  How do I know this?  Because of how they make me feel: worried, afraid, and stuck.   However, because I practice what I preach, as soon as the worry-story surfaces, I open my Transformation Tool Box, a virtual container stored in my consciousness that houses all the tools and processes I use to shift into alignment with my true Self whenever I notice I’m out.

On this day, I choose the tool called my Sacred Stick, a new tool I am using with clients. It is a real stick, one I found at the dog beach in Santa Barbara.  Using the stick is based upon the Law of Attraction teachings of Abraham-Hicks.  The stick represents the ‘issue’ and provides a visual tool to consciously shift one’s focus about a subject from what is not wanted to what is wanted.  As part of our human conditioning, we tend to focus on what we don’t want rather than what we do want, especially around subjects that carry any sort of baggage.  Unfortunately, when we focus on what we don’t want, we will get more of what we don’t want. (The Law of Attraction at work.)

To begin, I simply stare at the left side of my stick, which represents where I am right now. I say aloud, “The subject I am focusing on now is the subject of writing my book.”  Then I ask, “What thoughts am I thinking and what is the vibration of those thoughts?”

You may ask, “Why do this?  Of course you know what you’re thinking.”  You’d be surprised how unconscious some thoughts are.  The more conscious you make each step of this process, the further you shift your vibration in relation to the subject you are working on.

The thoughts I hear in response to my question are: ‘I’ll never finish my book’; ‘It’s crazy’; and ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’.  All of these statements create a story, one with historical roots, which I won’t elaborate on here.  The vibration or emotion of this story feels frightening, doubtful, and at times hopeless and powerless, feelings at the bottom of the emotional scale.

I look at my stick, holding it tightly.  I ask, “Is this worry-story a story that matches the lack of my book or the presence of my book?”  I feel into the question, molding the clay of my conscious awareness.  These thoughts match the lack of my book, of course, the lack of writing it and the lack of joy I experience when I allow it to come through me.

With this awareness firmly planted in my consciousness, I look at my stick once more.  The left end is the lack end.  The right end is the BOOK, which my Spirit knows already exists on the vibrational level.  I turn my head.  I note the turning of my head.  This is another moment of choice.  I choose to look at the BOOK-end of my stick, the end where what seems to be in the future is here now when I imagine it to be so.  I search for thoughts that I know are true, thoughts that create the presence of my book, such as, ‘I love to write’, ‘I have so much written that is really good’, ‘I have support for finishing the book’, ‘I know my writing inspires people’, ‘I have finished books before’, ‘I feel the finished book’, and ‘Spirit directs the flow’.

With some effort, focus and practice, suddenly, I feel free and aligned once again with my Desire.  By focusing on the end of the stick that represents the book itself, by giving myself time to consciously tell a new story, I change my vibration in relation to my book.  I align with what I want rather than the lack of it. I feel the presence of the book; I expect its unfolding; my natural happiness returns.

And so, I write.  It flows.  Soon, I notice the sun, which has been shining all morning.  I eagerly anticipate the joy of sharing my book with many people.  I anchor the feeling of inevitability.

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copyright 2009 Nancy Swisher

(Note:  I have used the feminine pronoun to refer to self-love.  However, self-love is neither male nor female, but encompasses All.)

– Self-love brings her total awareness to the present moment of her life. And when she does not do this, she shifts into a learning mode to discover what she is making more important than the present moment.

– Self-love invests resources in learning how to love herself.

– Self-love takes time to breathe, to the point of actually appreciating her breath, feeling the intimacy between her body and her spirit made manifest by the breath.

– Self-love forgives. She learns how to forgive in a way that feels aligned with her Soul.

– Self-love learns to recognize the story playing in her head.  She feels the impact of the story and inquires about its truth.

– Self-love reaches out for support when she needs to.

– Self-love follows her Bliss.  Self-love learns to make this real. Self-love acts upon what brings her joy, even if it means going against the opinions of others.

– Self-love listens to her Soul. She brings forth those words into the material plane, forming a relationship to her own wisdom and taking responsibility for it.

– She releases fear of judgment. She releases self-judgment, and thus judgment of others.

– Self-love cherishes and honors all aspects of her body. She eats to support her organs and systems; she learns about herbs and natural healing; she stretches her muscles and monitors the vibration of her energy level.

– Self-love knows that the body is a manifestation of her consciousness, so when her body has pain, she looks to the place in her consciousness that hides in the dark.

– Self-love invests in learning to love herself with the same excitement that she invests in a vacation or a new home.

– Self-love realizes that her very core is Love, that she is a Being of Light.  Self-love makes this real in her daily life by practicing Stillness.

– Self-love reads books that resonate with her own knowing of Spirit.  She doesn’t adopt others words, but allows them to support her alignment with her own words.

– Self-love devotes time to mastering energy release techniques so that she can easily pivot away from her programmed mind as quickly as possible.  She also understands there may be wisdom to learn within the lower vibrations of memory and story as she works to rise above them.

– Self-love expresses her Soul’s purpose and takes the time to discover that purpose as it evolves throughout her life.

– Self-love practices contemplation, for without contemplation she cannot know who she is.

– Self-love studies Universal Laws: the Law of Giving and Receiving; The Law of Attraction; The Law of Thinking.  She observes these laws at work in her everyday life.

– Self-love connects to the Oneness of Nature, knowing that she and the dragonfly are One, that she and the tree are One, that she and the mountain lion are One.

– Finally, Self-love knows she is responsible to discern what is loving to her, that no one else can tell her that, that only God, Divine Mother, the Infinite Field, and Great Spirit, as they flow through her can guide her to the next moment of enlightenment, where Love and Love meet, and all is well.

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How would your life be different if you could embody these statements?  If this is something you can imagine and desire, I invite you to register for my 9-week Choosing Self-Love Tele-class Intensive starting Oct. 1. http://tinyurl.com/mlu8r5 Questions? Please call Nancy at 319-338-7833.  Blessings and Light!

copyright 2009 Nancy Swisher and Choosing Self-Love Inc.

I love putting these two words together because I don’t think they are often associated.  In reality, you can’t have one without the other.

What is self-love? The foundation of self-love is the realization that you are love.  You live a life of self-love when you identify with your spirit, with the non-physical Being that you are.  When you really know that you are a spiritual being having a human experience, you become committed to mastering the tools of self-love that help to release your conditioned mind, all those beliefs and feelings that block your experience of the love that you are.

What is success?  I prefer to use Deepak Chopra’s definition.  It’s a good one: “The continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

There are no right goals or wrong goals.  Worthy goals are those that bubble up from within you that bring you a sense of joy when you imagine them.

If you do not give yourself the time and space to go inside, to touch the Being that you are, to feel your unique energetic vibration and frequency—if you are always on the go and seeking the next accomplishment while ignoring your Being, your success will not bring you happiness.

Soul-aligned success can only be accomplished by learning to love you. The worthy goals are those that outform your heart’s desire, your soul’s-purpose.

You can work hard and make lots of money and have all the things that make the world label you as a success.  And there is nothing wrong with wonderful things.  But the new paradigm of success that is being birthed in the world now—success that comes from soul-alignment—cannot come to fruition without the practice of self-love.

How does one practice self-love?  That is a much bigger question than I can answer here, but the most important starting place and the #1 practice is this: Stillness.

If you want to learn to master 15 self-love practices check out my 9 week Choosing Self-Love Tele-class Intensive at http://tinyurl.com/mlu8r5

www.choosingselflove.com

In our busy lives, it is easy to forget that we walk upon the earth, that we are part of the earth.  What does this mean?  To me, it means that the vast, powerful, loving energy that rises up from the earth nourishes, inspires, heals, and guides me when I open my conscious awareness to her.

Yesterday, my neighbors had a tree cut.  The tree was in my yard but belonged to them.   It was a very old pin oak tree, diameter much too large for even two people to hug.  Since I have lived here, the energy of the tree has been part of my home.  In less than three hours, the tree company had it down.  Needless to say, I had many feelings arise, feelings of grief, helplessness, love, loss, anger, and even physical sensations of pain. You see, I knew that the tree was healthy except for a few dead branches at the top. But the tree ‘experts’ instilled fear, saying the tree would fall on the house, etc.

As I processed the loss of the tree, I called on the Earth to help me.  I tuned in to the vast waves of energy flowing through the vortex where the tree had been.  By evening, I was guided to realize that the energy of the tree was still present.  The physical form had been taken, but the energetic form was still there.  I could feel it.  I could see the energy of the tree and its branches.

My heart lifted when I realized this.  I felt such a profound awareness about the relationship of physical form and Being or energy.  This is not to say that I do not grieve the physical form, I do.  But the non-physical reality of our existence, both of our own Spiritual self and the spirit of Nature is where we need to focus at this time.

It is through our awareness of Spirit, our own, the trees, the birds and flowers and our oneness with All That Is that our lives will shape-shift into our highest and best Self.  The beauty of our natural surroundings are here to help us see who we really are: Spiritual Beings having a humanly spiritual experience.

Blessings to you and to the Earth,

Nancy

Generally, when someone says they feel like they don’t belong, they are referring to something external, such as their family, their neighborhood, or a peer group at work or school.  The feeling of not belonging, no matter where it comes from, is a very painful feeling.  It can be debilitating.  The latest scientific research shows that the feeling of not belonging and isolation is one of the biggest causes of stress in the body.  We all need to feel like we belong.  The feeling of belonging is an essential part of experiencing a full life.

In my work as a transformation catalyst and guide, I find that at the root of many issues is this sense of not belonging.  Exploring your personal experience of belonging provides the potential for healing and aligning with your true self.

Inner Belonging and Outer Belonging

There are two aspects to belonging—inner and outer.  Inner belonging is the deep feeling of knowing who you are.  It is your connection to your Inner Being, to your Spirit, your Soul.  It is also a connection to your body, knowing that with each breath you take, you affirm that you belong to this body and that this body belongs to you.  Inner belonging cannot exist without the practice of self-love.  They go hand in hand.  When you love yourself, when you allow the love that you are to flow through you and from you, the feeling of belonging is always present.

Outer belonging is the feeling of connection to others.  This is a wonderful feeling. External belonging is based upon shared ideas, values and experiences.  After the recent presidential election, many African-Americans shared that, understandably, they now have a new sense of belonging to America that they have never had before.  This feeling of belonging with others can even happen virtually, through blogs, social networking, and tele-classes.  What a great benefit to living in this time of global interconnectedness.

The good news!

One main difference between inner and outer belonging is that we have complete control over our experience of inner belonging, whereas the feeling of outer belonging is dependant upon circumstances.  The other big difference is that inner belonging is primary; outer belonging is secondary.  By this, I mean that if you don’t take the time and space to cultivate a deep sense of belonging to yourself, to your Spirit as it flows from the larger Universal Field of Spirit, and to your body, then you will never feel the joy of external belonging either.  You may feel it temporarily in certain situations, but it won’t last.  You will have to keep finding new external sources for the feeling.  But when you master creating the feeling of inner belonging, the outer circumstances that give you the wonderful experience of belonging to others will show up.